How to Avoid Common Wedding Planning Mistakes
If You’re Planning a Wedding for the Very First Time, You’ll Want to Know These Common Wedding Planning Mistakes, such as:
- Including someone you’re unsure about in your wedding party
- Including too many stressful wedding details that guests don’t really notice
- Not giving yourself enough time to get ready for your pre-wedding ceremony photos
- Allowing family to get too involved in your wedding planning
- Choosing a DIY wedding venue without the proper planning support you’ll need
- Leaving your dinner reception seating arrangements to the very last minute
- Not giving your photographer clear expectations of what you want
- Giving your DJ your music plan at the last minute
- Not thinking about the Event Flow and the outcome you want
- Wanting a romantic, candlelit wedding reception, yet choosing a venue with lots of windows
- Choosing a caterer and menu without understand their total service, table ware rental, and gratuity fees
With 21 years of experience as a Denver Wedding Venue owner, I’ve seen a lot of common mistakes couples could have avoided over the years. If they had “zoomed out” and looked at the big picture of their wedding day before making some crucial decisions, or avoiding some, their wedding day outcome could have been so much better. I hope by sharing my experiences, I can help you avoid making some of these mistakes.
How to Avoid Common Wedding Planning Mistakes
Let’s dive into more detail about each of these common mistakes that you may or may not be faced with below.
Including someone you’re unsure about in your wedding party
How to avoid making this mistake…
Our experience over the past 21 years has given us insight into some of the disappointments and regrets that our couples have had over the years. One of those is including someone in their wedding party who has already given them “red flags” that they may cause some drama, back out, or not end up being in their lives after the wedding is over. The biggest regret is that those individuals are now going to be in all of your wedding party photos. Imagine getting an “amazing” photo of you with your entire wedding party, and just a year after your wedding you no longer associate with one of the people in your photo. This happens much more frequently than you might think.
Including too many stressful wedding details that guests don’t really notice
How to avoid making this mistake…
It’s so fun as a bride to get on Pinterest and Etsy as soon as you’re engaged and start filling up your Pinterest board with ideas for your wedding. The list is endless of custom wedding ceremony and reception ideas for your wedding party, guest favors, signage, and personalized “this and that”. Have fun with this, but my advice is to make a “favorites” list that you work on for several months before you actually buy anything. Believe me, your tastes are going to change over the time period you’re planning your wedding. New ideas will come up over time, you’ll be on social media late at night and something new will come across your feed, and then you’ll realize that by the time your wedding comes around other things become more important to you than you thought. You’re going to wish you hadn’t spent $2+ per guest on a wedding favor that most of the guests leave on the tables at the end of the night. Imagine 200 guests x $2 each, and what else you could have spent that $400 on?
Keep a “favorites” list on Etsy and just add to it over time. When you’re closet to your wedding date, then prioritize what you really want to spend your money on.
Not giving yourself enough time to get ready for your pre-wedding ceremony photos
How to avoid making this mistake…
You have to be the #1 priority for your hair and makeup over your bridesmaids or immediate family. Too many times we have seen the bride come to our venue late simply because her stylist took too long on one of her bridesmaids. Our advice is have a different stylist for your bridesmaids and parents, so you are her only priority. Then, make sure you schedule your appointment time with your hair and makeup professionals 6-9 months in advance on your wedding day, and make sure you book it early enough in the day so you’re on time for your pre-ceremony photos.
This is a huge regret of so many brides, and is the #1 stressor pre-ceremony. Avoid this common mistake by making “you” a priority the morning of your wedding. Imagine missing out on this pre-ceremony shot because you’re an hour late to your venue.
Allowing family to get too involved in your wedding planning
How to avoid making this mistake…
We know how important it is to include your family in your Wedding plans, and especially for those extra special moments. What can be stressful is allowing some of the “not so pleasant” family dynamics to creep in and overshadow the joy that this time in your life should bring you. You may have to set some boundaries from the very beginning with some overbearing family members, unfortunately. The challenge can be if they are paying a lot toward your wedding, as that may come with some conditions you don’t like. Some of the most common and stressful family challenges can occur with money overall and who’s paying for what, limiting the guest count, balancing a divorce situation and trying to make everyone happy, choosing a dress “you” love vs. one that may please a parent, deciding on design and decor styles that “you” want, out weighing the risks of outdoor vs. indoor ceremony and the backup plan, choosing the food that “you” want, choosing a DJ over a band, liquor decisions, and the most stressful being the seating arrangements and who gets to sit where at the dinner.
Although this can all sound overwhelming, I will tell you that MOST family will behave during your planning and on your wedding day. We’ve had hundreds of brides over the past 21 years express concern about one thing or another, and most of the time it all works out. To ensure it does though, have a plan! Talk with your family about your wishes, and how you would like to make this a really joyful time for you and your fiancé. Anticipate the most stressful conversations and issues, and address them up front. If your parents are divorced and unfortunately don’t get along, get a floor plan from your venue at the very beginning and know where the table placement will be in regards to your head table, and what is common for seating at your ceremony. Picture your actual wedding ceremony and reception, and what you want it to feel like and look like, and then anticipate what family issues could get in the way of achieve you achieving this. The sooner you address your concerns at the beginning with family, the less stressful it will be for everyone because they will have time to let your decisions sink in. Set clear boundaries where you need to, and then decide what you are willing to budge on too to allow those more difficult family members to have a say in some things too. Again, it will all work out.
Choosing a DIY wedding venue without the proper planning support you’ll need
How to avoid making this mistake…
Choosing a venue that only provides, tables, chairs, linens, and possibly tableware, is extremely different from choosing an all-inclusive wedding venue. The stress level to go from an empty room, to a Wedding that’s decorated like something out of a magazine or Pinterest, is off the charts. If you’ve never planned a celebration of this magnitude and importance, and for over 100 guests before, your wedding is not the time to “try it” for the first time. Our all-inclusive Denver Wedding venue and packages give our couples so much value that’s both tangible and intangible. All-inclusive wedding packages Denver. When you choose the DIY wedding venue route, you now become the designer and decorator, the set up and clean up crew, the ironer for the linens, the florist, the lighting expert, the one who has to coordinate set up, delivery and payment dates for multiple vendors, and the list goes on.
It’s important to set realistic expectations if you’re going to go the DIY route, here are the top benefits of choosing an all-inclusive wedding venue – blog post
When our brides arrive, the entire ceremony and reception is completely decorated for them. We just hand them a mimosa, and they are on their way to the bridal suite to relax and enjoy their bridesmaids, and begin taking their beautiful pre-ceremony photos.
Not giving your photographer and DJ clear expectations of what you want
How to avoid making this mistake…
Too many times couples hear “all-inclusive” and they think that means they don’t have to do anything to create this once-in-a-lifetime celebration they desire. This is a common misconception and won’t get you the custom experience you’re looking for. It would be like going on a cruise that includes everything as “all-inclusive”, but you don’t tell the bartender what drinks you really like, you don’t ask questions to get the best out of your experience, and you don’t ask the concierge for all of the amenities you get to make it the best cruise ever. You still need to let your professional know what you want or you’re going to get a “cookie cutter” experience.
Every couple is unique and has their own style when it comes to photography and music. You still have to be involved and take advantage of the questions your professional DJ and Photographer ask you so they can best serve you. Don’t wait until the last minute to give the DJ your music, and let them know what genres you would like played when guests are being seated for your ceremony, what genre you would love to hear during dinner, and of course tell them your song selection for your special moments and formal dances. It’s also best to let them be the professional and read the crowd during the dancing, but to give them a “must play” list and a “do not play” list so you get the most out of the party time. Get to know your DJ and his/her personality so they can be an intricate part of your celebration vs. a body behind a mixer. We make sure to get to know every couple with a “Get to Know You” questionaire, and we share this with all of our professionals who will be serving the couple.
As far as photography, you can’t just give your photographer a Pinterest board of photos and expect them to know exactly what you want. It’s best to think about why you chose the venue and/or the church you chose, and to get photos that capture the beauty of your surroundings. Look for photos taken at those venues and let your photographer know a handful of “must have” photos that you’ve seen. This is important because photographers don’t shoot the same shots for every couple, so giving them a “short list” of shots you really want is a good place to start. Get to know them and ask them what you can expect in terms of photo taking time with the two of you just as a couple; these are the most important photos at the end of the day. Ask them about formal photos and how to request the right amount of these types of photos without the two of you getting burned out. We’ve seen far too many couples just quit on photos and say they are “over it”, and yet they ended up missing out on a lot of photos of just the two of them that they would have loved to have. Guests don’t enjoy waiting and hour and a half while you take photos; we know this from experience. So if the guest experience, and everyone having fun at your wedding is a priority, ask your photographer how to manage the photo taking time in the very best way.
Choosing a caterer and menu without understanding their total service, delivery, tableware rental, and gratuity fees
How to avoid making this mistake…
When you choose a caterer there are many costs involved besides the food alone. If the Colorado wedding venue you choose does not include onsite catering, there are a lot of costs involved just to get that food pre-cooked and delivered to the venue that you may not be aware of. The labor costs for catering include delivery and pick up, tableware rentals, servers, bussers, washing and drying the dishes, etc. Then there are tableware rental charges for chargers, china, glassware, silverware, platters, etc. Caterers can then charge 20 – 22% gratuities. All of these charges and fees need to be calculated before you decide on a caterer. Offsite caterers pre-cook food by largely cooking dishes almost completely in their kitchen, often using techniques like batch cooking, then rapidly cooling them down to a safe serving temperature before transporting them in insulated containers to the event venue. Then they rely on reheated on-site methods like chafing dishes, steam tables or ovens, depending on the dish and available equipment. All of these steps add to the cost of offsite catering.
We are an all-inclusive Colorado Wedding Venue, and our catering is all done in-house. There are no delivery fees, no extra tableware rental fees, and we cook our food fresh and have it ready to serve all within a very short window of time. Most offsite caterers have to pre-cook some of their food and then re-warm it. Check our our onsite catering menu – here.
Wanting a romantic, candlelit wedding reception, yet choosing a venue with lots of windows
How to avoid making this mistake…
Before choosing a venue, decide on the style and look and feel you want for both your ceremony and reception. Every time we meet with prospective couples and they tell us they want a romantic candlelit dinner feel, we ask them if this is a big priority for them. If they say yes, then it’s important to avoid a venue that has lots of windows in the dinner reception ballroom. You won’t get that candlelit romantic feel until after sunset, and 90% of them time this is going to happen after dinner time has already ended. We’ve attended several dinner receptions where the whole vibe feels like an afternoon lunch vs. a romantic dinner. It’s best to ask more details bout the event timeline and when the venue believes your dinner will be served first. There truly is a different experience if your dinner or first dance occur during the daylight hours vs. being set in an atomosphere of gorgeous colored lighting and tons of romantic flickering candles. It’s important to think this through before choosing the right venue for you.
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